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Perfectionism and Shame: Two Sides of One Coin

Somewhere along my journey of recovery, I learned something very important: perfectionism and shame are two different manifestations of the same inner problem. They are two sides of a single coin. Shame is an extremely deep-seated, unconscious, all-pervading belief and perception that you are completely worthless, utterly unworthy, totally unlovable, and undeserving of anything good …

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Learning to Trust Ourselves

Here’s a paradox for you: Success in early recovery depends heavily upon our ability to trust others (e.g. a sponsor, a therapist, our network/support system), but success in long-term recovery depends heavily upon our ability to trust ourselves! Let’s look harder at this paradox. I can’t begin to count the number of times I’ve heard …

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Vulnerability: The True Source of Strength

Vulnerability gets a bad rap in our culture; in my experience, it seems to be despised. In our culture, we seem to love the tough, hard, mean, sneering attitude. Vulnerability is perceived as weakness. The cultural message is clear: Be STRONG. Vulnerability is for losers. You can’t hurt ME! Why is this? How did this …

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Going It Alone in Spiritual Matters is Dangerous

My work is all about helping people in recovery to discover and tune in to their true, authentic self, and to pay attention to it and its wisdom, guidance, desires and direction for their lives. It is a glorious thing, after many wasted or just plain difficult years, to finally get in touch with our …

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Renewal: Hitting a New Bottom in Recovery, and Starting Over

My previous blog entry focused on the issue of feeling stuck, stagnant, or in a rut in recovery. This blog entry takes this idea a bit farther: Not only is it possible to have periods of feeling stuck, stagnant, or in a rut in recovery, it is also not unusual to hit a “new bottom” …

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